


The Pieces We Keep

by GinnyK



Series: Two Lost Souls on the Highway of Life [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas, Episode: s16e10 What Child is This?, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hanging Out, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-15 07:36:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18069275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Jack and Gibbs go back to his place to enjoy the Bourbon.  A little slightly angsty, slightly fluffy post ep for What Child is This.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to NetFlix and CBS All Access I have managed to go through all 15+ seasons over the past 10 months. This is what happened when I realized I was on the Gibbs/Jack bandwagon.

Gibbs and Jack leaned against the truck while they waited for Nick and Ellie to finish up their special delivery.  His arm stayed around her shoulders and she snuggled into his embrace, both to keep warm and to just enjoy the feeling.  Nick and Ellie bid one final farewell to the baby and his new parents before heading back across the street.  Ellie made no effort to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks.  Nick glanced sideways at her and smiled sadly before grabbing her hand. 

Gibbs drove back to the Navy Yard, glancing in the rear view mirror every few minutes to check on his agents in the back seat.  Jack had handed Ellie a handful of tissues when they got settled in the truck and her tears had slowed down.  Nick sat with his arm around her, not caring that their boss was in the front seat.  Truth was, Gibbs was happy that Ellie had Nick to fuss over her and to worry about her.  After catching Nick’s eye in the mirror and giving a little smile, Gibbs looked to his right at Jack who was curled up in the corner of the seat, smiling at him.  Without a thought to the fact that Ellie and Nick were in the backseat, he winked and reached to give her hand a squeeze.  An action which did not go unnoticed by Ellie.  Gibbs looked in the mirror and winked as he caught Ellie’s eye.

All four went back into the office to grab various things before leaving for the holiday.  Jack headed to her office and Nick went down to the lab to grab a file he’d left there earlier.  Gibbs headed for the men’s room and Ellie went to her desk.

When Gibbs returned to the Squad Room he didn’t see Ellie at her desk when he got off the elevator, although her bag was on her chair.

“Bishop?” he called out loudly, cringing at how his voice echoed in the quiet of the room.  He took a sip of the coffee he’d gotten out of the vending machine, cringing at the poor quality.

“Down here,” he heard her reply.  He rounded her desk and saw her sitting on the floor, back against the cabinet.  It was one of her favorite spots to sit when stressed, thinking or eating.  “Hey,” she whispered as he slipped off his coat and tossed it on his desk.  He held out his coffee to her so she could hold it while he joined her. 

“So whatcha doing on the floor?” he asked with a wink as he grabbed the coffee back and took a large, unsatisfying sip.  He got the expected shrug of Ellie’s shoulders.  She tucked her hair behind her ears and pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her shins.  The tears from earlier had stopped and Gibbs was glad to see that. Unruly, cursing, out of control suspects were his wheelhouse, women in tears, no so much.  “Everything just caught up with you didn’t it?”  She nodded, unable to find her voice.  “Yeah, nearly dying, finding a baby, bonding with the baby and then giving him to a strange couple, it’s been quite a couple days,” Gibbs said quietly.  Ellie gave another silent nod as leaned to rest her head on his shoulder. He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.  Ellie allowed herself to be comforted for a minute.  “Are you flying home tonight?” he asked.

“No.  I told my family I’d fly home in a day or two.  Don’t feel like being around people right now,” she sighed.

“I get that.  I feel the same way most of the time, not just tonight,” he teased lightly.  Ellie chuckled, the first laugh he’d heard from her since the moment they found out the needed to deliver the adorable little guy to his new parents.

They stayed huddled on the floor until a few minutes later when they looked up to see Jack standing between Tim and Nick’s desks, watching them with a sad smile on her face.  Ellie scrambled to her feet as Jack held out a hand to Gibbs, pulling him to his feet. With a quick glance, Ellie noticed Gibbs didn’t seem to be in a hurry to let go of Jack’s hand.

Nick appeared a minute later and the four headed for the elevator. Neither Gibbs nor Jack were surprised when Nick and Ellie left the Navy Yard together in his car.  “Guess she didn’t want to be completely alone,” he thought to himself.

“Going to be revisiting Rule #12 soon?” Jack teased as she took Gibbs’ hand and they headed for his truck.

“Might have to,” he answered, first glancing at Nick and Ellie and then at their clasped hands.  “You need to stop by your place?” he asked.

“No, I’ll just grab my go-bag out of my car,” she replied, tugging his hand a little as she headed for her own car.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs pulled into his driveway 20 minutes later.  They grabbed their bags and headed inside, dropping everything on the couch and kicking off their shoes.  Both just stood in the middle of the living room for a minute, not talking, completely unsure of what to do next.  Jack shivered a little, wrapping her arms around her against the chill in the room.  Her action brought Gibbs back to the present.

“Let me start a fire,” he offered as he took a step towards the fireplace, happy to have a task to focus on. “Feel free to take a hot shower to warm up.  Guest bathroom is down the hall.  Clean towels are on the shelf.”

Jack contemplated the offer for a second.  “Yeah, sounds good. Don’t start drinking without me,” she teased as she grabbed her bag and headed down the hall.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Gibbs chuckled as he glanced over his shoulder to watch her walk away.

Jack closed the door to the bathroom and set her bag on the counter.  She dug around for some shampoo and body wash as a quick glance in his shower yielded a dried up bar soap and no shampoo.  Neither surprised her.  She set her toiletries in the shower and turned on the water, waiting a minute for it to warm up.  She put her hair up with an elastic band and stepped into the hot water, relaxing for what seemed like the first time in days.

While Jack stood under the hot water, Gibbs started a fire and grabbed two glasses and the bottle of Bourbon, setting everything on the coffee table.  He turned the Christmas tree lights on and headed upstairs to get changed. 

He pulled his shirt tails out of his pants and for the first time in a long, long time, he gave a second thought as to what pajamas to wear.  He usually wore ratty plaid flannel pants and a USMC sweatshirt that had seen better days, both of which had been tossed on the end of the bed that morning.  He threw both in the basket in the corner which served as his hamper.  With a tired sigh he opened the dresser and rooted around at the vast assortment of faded plaid flannel.  “Get it together Gibbs,” he muttered to himself as he pulled out whichever pair his hand was touching.  He pulled a long sleeved Marine Corps t-shirt out of the top drawer and threw both on with a little chuckle.  A quick glance in the mirror yielded a reflection which looked much older than it had that morning.  He raked a hand through his hair and shoved his feet into his slippers.  As he started to step out of the room, he took a second to look at the picture hanging on the wall next to the doorway, one he looked at every time he left the room.  It was a picture of himself, Shannon and Kelly on the day their daughter was born.  It was a completely candid shot of the new parents, staring at their newborn with wonder.  He no longer remembered who even took it.  He briefly touched the oak frame and headed downstairs.

The shower turned off as he stepped off the bottom step.  He stoked the fire a little and opened the bottle of Bourbon, pouring generous amounts for both of them before sitting down on the wooden stool in front of the fireplace.

“Thought I told you not to start without me,” he heard Jack tease behind him.

“I didn’t, just poured it, scout’s honor,” he teased right back, looking over his shoulder.  She was dressed in a pair of black leggings and an over-sized NCIS shirt.  Fuzzy striped socks completed her outfit.  Gibbs made no move to get up so Jack crossed the room, grabbed the glasses off the table and handed them to him so she could sit on the floor next to him.  He took the one she held out to him with a small smile. 

“Merry Christmas, Gibbs,” she whispered as she gently clinked her glass against his.

“Merry Christmas, Jack,” he replied as he took a healthy mouthful.  “Damn, that’s good,” he muttered.

“Only the best for my friends,” she teased as she leaned into him, nudging his knee with her shoulder.  He leaned over a little, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth of the Bourbon and the fire.  Jack set her glass down next to her and reached out to run her hand over the side of the cradle which was sitting to her left. 

“This is beautiful,” she whispered as she ran her hand over the ornate letter K carved at the end.

“Thanks,” Gibbs whispered, not looking at her, instead staring at the fire.  Jack gently pushed the cradle a little rocking it slightly.  “Sure came in handy last night,” he muttered as he took another sip of his drink before setting it down.

“Sure did.  Ellie said when you brought it down last night you said something about having kept lots of things,” Jack said, just letting her comment hang there between them.  She certainly didn’t want him to think she was pushing him to talk, but she was curious, that was her default mode.

“Yeah,” he whispered hoarsely as he picked up his glass once more, draining it in a single gulp.   Not surprising he made no effort to elaborate on his answer.  He stood up slowly with a little groan as his knees protested the action.  Jack took the hand he offered her, standing up but making no move to drop his hand even after she was on her feet.  “Follow me,” he said as he vaguely gestured towards the stairs.  Jack followed him as instructed.  They turned left at the top of the stairs, passing a bathroom and his bedroom to the right, and stopping at the single door on the left side of the hallway.  Gibbs silently pushed the door open, gesturing for Jack to enter.

Gibbs turned on the light on the dresser, bathing the small room in a soft glow.  It was clearly Kelly’s room.  While it wasn’t actually a shrine to the little girl, it was clear Gibbs had never completely cleaned it out after her death.  There was a twin bed with a dated floral quilt.    A small bookcase next to the window held some children’s books along with some books which clearly belonged to Gibbs.  In the corner was a dollhouse, which caught her eye.  Jack knelt down and took a closer look.  It was clearly something Gibbs had made for Kelly.  Gibbs let Jack look around in silence.  He settled down on the window seat, kicking off his slippers and pulled his legs up.  He looked out the window, admiring the Christmas lights shining up and down the street. 

“I’ve just never felt the need to clear it out,” he explained with an expected shrug of his shoulders.  “It’s just me, I don’t need the room for anything.  Have been thinking about giving the dollhouse to Jimmy’s daughter Victoria.”

“She would love it.  And it would mean the world to Jimmy,” Jack said carefully as she nudged his legs a little to get him to move them over a bit, giving her room to perch on the edge of the window seat.  She sat down near his feet, resting her right hand on his knee.  “There’s nothing wrong with keeping things Gibbs.  It’s a way to stay connected to your past.  It’s not like you’ve kept everything that belonged to Shannon and Kelly,” she said as she glanced up to catch his eye.  “You have gotten rid of some of their things, right?” she added with a little grin.  Given the fact that what she’d seen of his house didn’t seem to have the slightest bit of a woman’s touch, she was pretty sure he had.

“Oh course,” he snorted as he sat up suddenly, banging his head on the wall a little.  He gently bounced his head against the wall a few times.  “A few years after they died, I donated most of their clothes and the majority of Kelly’s toys.  Kept a few things.  You never know when I might have kids over,” he added with a laugh.  Jack just gave him a questioning look.  “I’m an honorary grandfather to Victoria, John and Morgan,” he explained proudly as he dropped his head down, rubbing at a frayed spot on the edge of his shirt sleeve.

“I’m sure you are a wonderful grandfather to those adorable children,” Jack said quietly as she reached out to hook a finger under his chin, lifting it enough so their eyes met.  He nodded.  “You ready to go back downstairs?  I need another drink and something to eat.  I hope you have food,” she teased as she stood up.

“I have food, nothing fancy but we won’t starve,” he declared as he pushed himself to his feet.  He limped a little as he walked out of the room and headed down the stairs.

Jack followed him into the kitchen, rubbing her arms against the chill.  She grabbed a flannel shirt she found draped over one of the kitchen chairs. 

“I could get you a clean shirt, one with less sawdust on it,” he teased as she slipped it on.

“This is fine,” she said with a smile as he turned to open the fridge.  She wrapped herself up in the shirt, inhaling the smell of sawdust, coffee and Irish Spring soap.  It was comforting.

“Grilled cheese and soup?” he asked as he rooted around in the fridge, finding it emptier than he remembered it being that morning.

“Perfect,” she said over her shoulder as she headed for the living room to pour more bourbon for both of them.  She returned with the refilled glasses as he was rooting around the freezer.  He pulled out a plastic container and set it in the microwave to thaw.  “Homemade soup?” she asked, slightly surprised.

“Yes.  Contrary to popular opinion, I can cook something other than cowboy steaks and baked potatoes,” he said with a little snort.

“Noted,” she said with a little laugh.  She held out his glass to him and he took with it a smile.  Jack wandered around a bit with her drink. 

After putting the soup on the stove to heat up, Gibbs assembled the sandwiches.  Jack found some appropriate holiday music on her phone and he could hear the faint strains of O Holy Night coming from the living room where she was standing in front of the bookcase, snooping around a little.

“Find anything interesting?” he called over his shoulder with a laugh.

“Interesting selection of books and some adorable pictures of you with your honorary grandchildren.  Who is the little girl with the brown curls?” she asked as she picked up a small photograph of a little girl, grinning for the camera.

“That’s Tali.  Tony’s daughter.”

“DiNozzo?” Jack asked, obviously having heard the name around NCIS.

“The one and only,” Gibbs said with a laugh as he took the sandwiches off the griddle and ladled the soup into the bowls.  He set everything on a tray and carried it into the living room, putting it on the coffee table.

“What’s in this little box?” Jack asked, picking it up but not opening it without permission.

“Open it,” he said as he sat down and picked up his spoon.

Jack opened it up and pulled out a little slip of paper, reading it by the light of the fire.  “You wrote them all down?” she asked with a smirk.

“Yep,” he muttered with a grin.

“Okay, so I guess THE RULES are actual real,” she muttered as put the slip of paper back and closed up the box.  She put it back on the shelf and sat down on the couch.  They ate without talking much, just listening to both the music and the crackling of the fire.

“I’m glad you didn’t go skiing,” Gibbs said quietly as he finished his sandwich and pushed aside his plate.

“Me too, Gibbs,” Jack said, a bit thrown off by his comment which seemed to have come out of nowhere. 

Gibbs started to stand and clear away the remnants of their snack but Jack waved him off.  He cooked, the least she could do was clean up. 

“Why don’t you put your feet up,” Jack suggested as she put the plates and bowls on the tray.

“Put my feet up?” he echoed her suggestion with a barely concealed snort.

“You’re limping around,” she helpfully pointed out as she tapped his left knee with her right hand

“Damn, I thought I was hiding that,” he muttered as he put his feet on the coffee table

“No so much,” Jack teased as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“In that case, when you come back can you grab the ice packs out of the freezer and the Advil off the counter.”

“No problem,” Jack assured him as she picked up the tray.  She came back with the requested items.  Gibbs put an ice pack on each knee and took the pills she held out to him with a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” he muttered as he handed the bottle of water back to her.

Jack sat on the coffee table, next to his feet for a minute.

“’So, do you spend every evening on the couch with ice packs?” Jack asked curiously as she patted his leg. 

“Not every night.  But more than my share.  Left one still swells despite the knee replacement a few years ago.  Right one probably needs to be replaced but you know…”

“Know what?  That you’re stubborn and you refuse to take care of yourself?” Jack guessed with a little smirk. 

“Something like that,” he muttered with a shrug of his shoulders.  Jack just smiled and shook her head a little.  Her phone rang and she grabbed it off the end table.  

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said as she patted his shoulder.

Jack talked to Ellie for a little while, pacing the kitchen as she did.  She filled the kettle and turned on the burner for tea.  It took her a minute to find tea bags but she was pretty sure he had to have some, after all Ducky was know to visit.  She found a decent selection in the cabinet over the stove.  Grabbing the first decaffeinated one she found she dropped it in a Marine Corps mug she pulled out of the dish drainer.  Ellie yawned 3 times in the space of two minutes, so Jack wished her and Nick a Merry Christmas before hanging up.

Jack poured the water for her tea and looked out the back door at the yard while the tea cooled a bit.  She washed the dishes and put away the leftover soup.

With the kitchen cleaned up she went back out to the living room to see what Gibbs was doing.  She found him sound asleep, book on his chest, reading glasses slipping down his nose.  Carefully she took the book out of his grasp and removed his glasses, setting both on the end table.  The ice packs had slipped off his knees and were on the floor, so she put them back in the freezer before tossing a blanket over him and kissing him on the forehead.  She grabbed a book from her bag and settled down in the corner of the couch.  Although the book was interesting, it wasn’t holding her attention.  With a quick glance at her phone she saw it was almost 10:00, certainly earlier than she usually went to bed but the past few days were catching up with her.  She stoked the fire a little and the sound of a log falling and the fire crackling woke Gibbs up just enough that he pulled his feet off the coffee table and curled up, head at one end of the couch, feet in the corner.

Jack stuck a pillow under his head and covered him back up. Perching next to him for a minute she rubbed his back, settling him back down quickly.  She turned off the light on the end table before going into the bathroom to brush her teeth.  When she came out of the bathroom she glanced into the guestroom but after half a second worth of debate, she headed back out to the living room. 

Gibbs was flat on his back, snoring softly. She nudged him a little to get him to roll over and stop snoring.  He curled up like a little kid, pulling the blanket up under his chin.  With a little smile, she ruffled his hair a bit and kissed his cheek.  She grabbed a blanket and pillow for herself and she settled down, head at the end, her feet by his in the corner of the L shaped couch.  The long week caught up with her and she was asleep in 10 minutes.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jack woke up an indeterminate time later to the feeling of someone kicking her in the shins.  Her instincts kicked in quickly and she bolted upright.  Thankfully her awareness of her current circumstances also kicked in and she managed to keep herself from reaching out to subdue her “attacker”. 

“What?” Gibbs muttered, clearly much less aware of his surroundings than Jack.

“You keep kicking me,” she pointed out, rubbing her shin with one hand as she reached for her cell with the other.  It was a few minutes before midnight and Christmas Day.  She held out the phone so Gibbs could see the time.  He pushed the blanket off him and turned on the light on the end table. Carefully he stood up, making sure his knees were going to hold him upright. With a sigh he shuffled around the coffee table and walked behind the couch to stand by the tree.  He leaned against the back of the couch, hands braced on the edge.  Jack started to get up and walk around the end of the couch to join him by the tree but there wasn’t much room for her to scoot by him so with as much grace as she could muster at midnight, she got up on her knees and swung one leg over, ending up sitting balanced on the back of the couch, next to Gibbs.  She put an arm around him and he dropped his head to her shoulder.  They watched as the time on her phone changed from 11:59 to 12:00.  As it did Gibbs let out a little breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.  He squeezed Jack’s hand before pushing himself away from the couch.  She let him go without a word; it was clear he needed a little time alone.

Jack took the opportunity to take a closer look at the tree.  At quick glance it was clear the majority of the glass ornaments were rather old. There were a few handmade ones too, presumably made by Kelly.  A few with pictures on them, Gibbs, Shannon and Kelly.  There was a Baby’s 1st Christmas one with a teddy bear, one with the Marine Corps emblem.  There were also a few obviously newer ones, a handprint of Victoria’s and one with a picture of the McGee twins. 

Gibbs came back from the kitchen carrying a glass of milk and a Tupperware container filled with cookies in his hands.  He proudly held out the cookies to Jack with a smile.

“You baked?” she asked as took two with a smile in return.

“Ducky and I baked last weekend,” he said, as if Jack shouldn’t be surprised at that fact.

“Well, Agent Gibbs, you are certainly full of surprises, aren’t you?” Jack teased. 

“I try to keep the women in my life guessing,” he smirked as he took a seat on the couch. 

“And you’re doing a damn fine job,” Jack teased as she sat down next to him. She picked up her phone to turn the music back on.

They ate a few cookies while listening to the music, sharing the glass of milk he’d brought with him.  Jack  once again glanced over at the tree, an unasked question on her lips.

“Before you ask, yes, the tree goes up every year.  Same spot in the window, same ornaments.  Well some new ones too, but the old ones get put up first.  The plain glass balls were my mother’s.  She had them since before I was born.”

“So really old then,” Jack smirked, hoping that teasing was the way to go.

“I prefer antique,” he muttered with a grin, letting her know her teasing was just fine.  He glanced at the tree before leaning over, elbows on his knees, chin propped up in his hand.  Jack scooted a little closer and rubbed his back a bit. 

“It’s great that you do the tree every year.  The pieces of our lives that we keep, that we hang onto, it’s what keeps us connected to those we love.”

“I suppose,” he muttered as he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.  Jack reached behind her to grab a few tissues out of the box on the end table, just in case they were needed.  She offered quiet support, sitting next to him, gently rubbing his back.  A few halting breaths later he felt a little more in control.  “Sorry,” he muttered as he leaned back resting his head on the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling, hands folded in his lap.

“Sorry for what, Gibbs?” Jack asked carefully as she put her hand on his.  He just shrugged his shoulders.  “You don’t have to keep everything inside,” she pointed out, hoping she wasn’t treading too deeply into her therapeutic persona.

“Yeah, actually I do,” he muttered as he used the sleeve of his shirt to clumsily swipe at his eyes.

“Why?” she pressed as she handed him one of the tissues.

 “Cause if I don’t, it gets pretty ugly.  And it’s certainly not something I want you to see,” he said with a little edge to his voice.  The edge wasn’t surprising to Jack but it did cause her to rethink her tactic of pressing him to open up a bit.

Jack gave a little chuckle and shook her head.  She reached out to hook a finger under his chin, turning his head enough so he looked her in the eye.  “Whatever you decide to show me or share with me, no matter how ugly it gets, I can assure you, I’ve seen worse,” she said simply.

“I’m sure you have,” he chuckled dryly.  He blew his nose and leaned forward with enough momentum to get himself to his feet.

“How about sleep, think that might be a good idea?” Jack asked from the corner of the couch where she’d curled up with her blanket.  It was clear that opening up was not something Gibbs had a desire to do and at 12:30 on Christmas morning, she wasn’t about to push him.

“I don’t see that happening,” he muttered as he tossed another log on the fire and sat on the stool.

“You’re a horrible sleeper, aren’t you?” she guessed, speaking to his back.

“Ya think?” he snorted, glancing over his shoulder.  “And before you ask, yeah I certainly have something I can take for that.  Thanks to Ducky who seems to be hellbent on taking care of me.”

“Yeah, what an ass Ducky is, trying to make sure you eat and sleep,” she snorted with more of an edge than she had planned.

“Let’s just drop it,” he spit out.

Something in his tone struck her in a way which surprised her.  Probably due to her own exhaustion, or the way their conversation seemed to be going downhill rather quickly and unexpectedly.  She tossed aside the blanket and got up quickly to cross the room, too quickly as she hadn’t quite untangled herself and nearly took a header into the coffee table.  “I’m fine, by the way, thanks for asking,” she muttered as she knelt in from of him, taking the poker of out his hand and setting it back on the hearth.  “What the hell just happened?” she asked, putting her hands on his knees.

“I don’t know,” Gibbs sighed as he leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead.  “Can we just go back to the point where we were on the couch with our cookies and milk?”

“If that’s what you want, we can do that.  Does that mean I’m never going to press you to talk, no way in hell,” she answered honestly.  “But it’s Christmas and I’ll give you a pass, for now.  But remember this, I will always be here if you want to talk, about anything at all.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything different,” he whispered, the edge to his voice suddenly disappearing.  It was as if the energy he’d worked up in the previous 5 minutes had just been drained out of him.  He yawned a few times and let Jack pull him to his feet.  She started to pull him towards the couch when he took both of them by surprise and wrapped his arms around her.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  Jack bit back a sarcastic comment about his rule of never apologizing.  Something told her that teasing was no longer the way to go.

“Come on,” she said, tugging on his hand.  She eventually got him to move towards the couch.  He sat down while she put the rest of the cookies and the glass in the kitchen and turned the lights back out.  “You want the tree on or off?”

“On, if that’s okay with you,” he replied quietly.

“It’s fine,” she assured him.

Jack sat back down in the corner of the couch.  Taking a chance she leaned over to grab Gibbs’ pillow from the end of the couch, tossing it in her lap. “Come here,” she said as she patted the pillow.  He gave her a wary look but eventually pulled his feet up on the couch and stretched out, putting his head on the pillow. “Relax,” she whispered as she brushed back his hair.

“I’m trying, Jack, I’m trying,” he sighed. 

“You could start by actually closing your eyes,” she pointed out with a smirk as she pulled the blanket up over him.  He laced his fingers over his chest and made a big deal about closing his blue eyes.

Jack just chuckled a little at him.  Even with his eyes closed he still seemed a rather long way from actually sleeping.  Somewhere around 1:00 she was honestly a few minutes away from suggesting he take a sleeping pill. He curled up a little on his side, facing away from her.  She turned off the music on the phone and gently rubbed his shoulder with one hand, resting the other hand on his hair.  His breathing finally slowed and evened out under her touch.  Silently, and much to Jack’s surprise as she thought he was basically asleep, Gibbs reached for the hand that was on his shoulder, pressing it against his chest.  Through his shirt Jack could feel the top of the surgical scar.  She fingered it lightly and felt him take a shaky breath.  Jack nudged him a little, trying to get him to look at her.  He stubbornly stayed on his side, staring at the fire.  He eventually pulled one hand out from under the blanket and swiped clumsily at his eyes. 

Jack nudged him a little again, hoping he would roll over to look at her. Much to her surprise he did do just that.  The room was lit only by the lights from the tree, for that he was grateful. Jack didn’t say anything, she just gently wiped away the threatening tears with her thumbs and gave him a sad little smile.  Gibbs took a few deep breaths and she knew he was trying to decide whether or not to talk, to open up a bit. 

“Jethro, just talk,” she encouraged him softly.

The mere fact that she called him something other than “Gibbs” was his undoing.  He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and took a few more deep breaths.   It took a few minutes for him to ground himself and feel more in control.  He wiped his face with the tissues she handed him before tossing them on the coffee table. 

“Talk about what?” he asked as he reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Anything at all, doesn’t matter,” she assured him as she ran a hand through his hair. 

“Okay,” he answered.  “When I was shot and I was about to be put under for surgery, I really didn’t think I would make it.  And I was okay with that.  It wasn’t like I had a death wish or anything and I certainly wasn’t upset when I woke up but….”

“I get it, if you had died, you would have been reunited with Shannon and Kelly.  Your family would have been together again.”

“Yeah but I guess I didn’t really stop to think how my not being around any longer would affect those I left behind.  But it wasn’t like I had a whole lot of time to contemplate my life.  Dr. Taft was rather anxious to get started before I bled out on his table.”

“Yeah, that was probably for the best,” Jack said dryly as she gently rubbed his chest.

“Anyway, when I did wake up and I was reunited with my team, I realized just how much of a family we’d become over the years.  There are times I need to be reminded of that.  But things like spending time with the kids, Skyping with Tali and Tony, they help to serve as reminders.

“Wait…back it up,” Jack said as she poked his shoulder.

“What?” he whined, knowing full well what was coming next.

“Skype?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I know how to Skype.  McGee helped me set it up on my laptop.  And yes, I have a laptop and I know how to use it, sort of,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Good to know.  Now if we could just get you to embrace the idea of a smartphone, we’d all be happy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered.

“Baby steps Jack, baby steps,” he muttered as he stuck his left hand behind his head, trying to get comfortable.  She fussed with the blanket, essentially tucking him in.  She waited for the fully expected teasing for her actions, but to her surprise, it never came.

“You okay?” she asked as she brushed her hand over his cheek before resting it back on his chest.

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know,” he whispered.

“I’d be more shocked if you were able to tell me exactly what’s wrong,” she answered honestly as she ran her finger over the scar on his chest. 

Gibbs chuckled lightly.  “What I do know is this…I am very glad I’m not here alone tonight.  As you can imagine I’ve spent many a Christmas Eve alone drowning my sorrows and feelings in Bourbon.  This is considerably nicer,” he added with a wink.

“Yeah, it is pretty nice,” Jack replied with a little smile.  “And I meant what I said, you can always talk to me.  As a friend, I’m not here to analyze or profile you.”

“You’ve already done that,” he snorted.

“Of course,” she teased right back.  “So, it’s the middle of the damn night, you think we could actually get some sleep?”

“Yeah, I think I can sleep.  I’ll be back in a minute,” he muttered as he pushed himself to his feet.  He used the bathroom and splashed some cool water on his face.

When he got back to the living room, Jack was curled up, head in the corner of the couch.  He stretched out with his head near hers. 

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Merry Christmas and thank you, for trusting me enough to open up a little,” she said quietly as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.  He smiled and rolled onto his stomach, one hand stretched out to squeeze hers.

To Jack’s surprise, Gibbs did doze off quickly.  She didn’t and that was fine with her, gave her time to just watch him in the rare state of being completely still. Propped up on one elbow she ran her fingers through his soft, silver hair and rubbed his back.  She had no idea where things were heading, or if they were really heading anywhere.  And for the moment she was okay with that.  She was enjoying whatever this was. 

Eventually she couldn’t keep her own eyes opened.  She pulled his blanket back over him and settled herself down, holding his hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a rather difficult time with this chapter. Struggled a bit with having the idea of Gibbs getting upset and a little tearful without being completely out of character. Hope I managed to somehow do that.
> 
> Thanks as always for the kudos and comments.


	4. Chapter 4

Despite not falling asleep until almost 2:00 AM, Gibbs was up as usual by 6:15. He untangled himself from the blanket and sat up, rubbing at his eyes a little to wake up fully.  It was still dark out and he thought about just using the bathroom and trying to go back to sleep, but he knew from experience that probably wouldn’t work.  He stood up and tucked the blanket back around Jack who was still sound asleep.  She was curled up facing the back of the couch.  He carefully brushed her hair back and kissed her cheek before heading for the bathroom.

Ten minutes later the coffee was brewing and he was sitting at the kitchen table with the newspaper.  By the time he’d had two cups of the strong coffee it was almost 7:00 but Jack was still sound asleep.  He couldn’t blame her for being exhausted, they’d been up way too late.  He poured himself another cup of coffee and threw on the hoodie from the hook by the basement door.  Shoving his feet into his work boots he headed down to the basement, treading carefully on the creaky steps.

He set the coffee down on the work bench and turned on the ancient radio on the shelf.  The sound of Christmas music filled the space, bringing a little smile to his face.  He pulled some wrapped presents out from under the stairs.  There was something for each of the three little ones.  Tali’s present had been mailed to her a few weeks earlier.  There was also a present for Jack.  All four had been carefully wrapped.  His wrapping skills left a lot to be desired so when Bishop had spent the night with Nick and the baby, he’d bribed her to wrap his gifts in exchange for his taking a shift with the little boy.  Truth was he would have gladly taken a shift with the little guy, despite his weak protests to the contrary.  He brushed the sawdust off the end of the workbench before putting the stack of brightly wrapped gifts down.

His latest project was a small bookshelf which was sitting in pieces on the table in the center of the room.  After a sip of coffee he pulled up a stool and opened up the box which held his carving tools.  A little while into his carving he heard Jack walking around upstairs.

“Gibbs,” she called from the top of the basement steps.

“Yep, down here,” he called back as he set down his tools and picked up his coffee.

Jack came down the steps, desperately trying to do something with her hair, but there was only so much she could do with one hand occupied with her mug of coffee.  When she got downstairs she put her mug down and hastily pulled her hair into a messy bun, securing it with the hair tie around her wrist.

“Morning, Merry Christmas again,” she said as she took a hesitant step towards Gibbs.

“You too,” Gibbs replied with a grin as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

Jack pulled up the other stool and sat at the work table with her coffee.  She admired the carving of a boat he’d been working on when she came down.  “This is beautiful,” she said, running her fingers over the fine details.  “For you or for someone else?” she asked.

“For the foyer.  Need somewhere to display more pictures of the kids,” he said with a smile.

“It’s perfect,” she said as she reached for her coffee.  “Did you sleep?”

“I did.  I rarely get more than about 5 and a half hours sleep so I’m just fine.”

“Yeah, I need a little more to function,” she teased.

She glanced over at the stack of presents on the workbench. “Don’t tell me, in addition to baking you are also an expert in gift wrapping?”

“Hell no, Bishop did those for me.  They’re for the kids.  And one for you,” he said as he pointed to the square one sitting off to the left of the others. 

“For me?” Jack asked excitedly, suddenly feeling very much like a little kid on Christmas morning.

“Yep,” Gibbs answered proudly.  He wiped his hands and picked up the gift, handing it to her with a shy smile.  She carefully pulled the tail of the ribbon until the bow fell away.  She slid her finger under the tape, trying to preserve the paper, an action which earned her a groan from Gibbs.  “Fine,” she muttered as she tore the rest of the paper off.  The gift was wrapped in white tissue, under the brightly colored Christmas paper.

“I promise, no more layers of paper,” Gibbs teased as he leaned his elbows on the table next to Jack.  He held his breath as she pulled back the tissue paper to reveal a beautiful, and obviously handmade, wooden box.  She looked at the design on the top for a few seconds until she realized what he had carved on the lid of the box, it was a simplified version of the Rorschach print which hung over her desk at work.  She ran her hand over the image before carefully taking the lid off, finding her initials carved on the bottom right corner of the inside of the box.  She set it down and turned to face Gibbs.

“Jethro, it’s beautiful,” she said with tears in her eyes.  She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek.  “Thank you,” she whispered as she held him tightly.

“You’re welcome,” he said as he dropped his chin down on her shoulder, returning the hug.

Gibbs eventually pulled away with a quick kiss to her cheek. 

“Hungry?” he asked as he picked up his coffee mug and drained it.

“Starving,” she said as she picked up both her mug and gift. She grabbed him by the hand, pulling him in the direction of the stairs.  He picked up his own mug and followed her back upstairs.

“Eggs or pancakes,” Gibbs asked as he poured more coffee for both of them. 

“Pancakes, definitely,” she declared as she took the mug he held out to her.

Gibbs got the pancake mix out of the cabinet as Jack put on another pot of coffee.

“There’s sausage, if you want to start that,” Gibbs said, vaguely motioning towards the freezer. 

Jack got the box of sausage from the freezer and dumped the links into a shallow pan Gibbs had set on the stove.

“So, I never asked, what are your plans for today?  I mean, I assume you have plans for Christmas.  I don’t want to intrude on anything. I can get going after breakfast,” Jack said, instantly feeling like she was rambling a bit.  She shook the pan a little, moving the sausages around so they didn’t burn.

“Jack, slow down,” he said with a laugh as he turned the burners on under the griddle pan.  “Yes, I have plans.  Going to dinner at Jimmy and Brenna’s house.  They invited Ducky too.  And I am sure you would be more than welcome to come too.  I know they invited Torres and if I had to bet, he’s probably bringing Bishop along with him.  You should come,” he said as he sprinkled a few drops of water on the griddle, testing the temperature. 

“I’ll think about it,” she replied as she turned her attention back to the pan.

They cooked in comfortable silence, playfully nudging each other as they fought for space in front of the stove.  When the sausage was done she put a lid on the pan to keep them warm while he finished up the last round of pancakes.  She set the table and poured more coffee before wandering around the kitchen.  With a bit of curiosity, she stopped to glance at the assortment of cookbooks on the small hutch by the back door. 

“Just how much do you cook?” she asked, taking in the side variety of titles, none of which seemed to have the word COWBOY in them.

“I don’t starve.  Shannon had the real talent in the kitchen.  I do use some of the cookbooks once in a while.  Honestly, they always just looked nice on the hutch and it’s not like I need the room for anything else.  So I’ve just kept those ones,” Gibbs explained as he glanced over his shoulder at Jack.  “Okay, everything’s done,” he announced as he turned off the burners and opened the oven to grab the tray of pancakes he’d been keeping warm.

They had a leisurely meal, enjoying good food and sharing their own childhood Christmas memories with each other. 

“Oh, I ate way too much,” Jack muttered as she pushed aside her plate and started to get up and clear the table.

“Leave it, we’re not in a hurry,” Gibbs said as he got up to grab the coffee carafe.  He poured another cup for each of them.

“You know, there may be a slight correlation between your sleep issues and the ridiculous amount of caffeine you consume on a daily basis,” Jack teased as she picked up her mug.

“Ya think?” Gibbs snorted as he held out his mug in a toast.  Jack touched her mug to his with a little shake of her head.  “Seriously, yeah I know I should think about cutting back a little.” Gibbs leaned back a little in his chair, stretching a bit.  Sitting back up he rubbed absently as his left knee. 

“You want the ice pack?” Jack asked, pointing towards his knee.

“Can’t hurt, I suppose,” he muttered with a shrug of his shoulders.

Jack grabbed the ice pack out of the freezer and handed it to him before taking a minute to clear some things off the table.  He propped his foot on the chair she’d just vacated and let her go ahead and clean up, no sense in arguing with her.  She put the butter and maple syrup back in the fridge.  The leftover pancakes went in a Tupperware container and the sausage in a baggie.

“Jack, leave the dishes, I’ll get them in a while,” Gibbs said as she held out his hand to her.  She quickly washed and dried her hands.

“Other than the continuing problems with your knee, anything other lingering affects from the surgery you had?” Jack asked curiously as stood behind him and put her hands on his shoulders.  She pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“Not really.  Had some problems with chest pain a few years back.  Apparently, there was a piece of scar tissue that would shift or something every once in a while, felt like I was having a heart attack.  Happened a few times where I really did think I was dying, a few others where it was just merely annoying.  Nothing recent.”

“Good,” she whispered as she moved her left hand down from his shoulder, letting it rest over his heart.  He covered her hand with his, so they could both feel his strong, steady heartbeat.

“So ya coming with me to dinner?” he asked.  Jack took a breath and he realized her answer wasn’t going to be a quick yes or no type answer.  He slid his foot off the chair and motioned for her to sit back down.  She sat down and pulled his foot into her lap.  He settled the ice pack over his knee and picked up his mug.  “Well?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“What’s not simple?  It’s Christmas dinner with people you adore,” he said with a grin.

“Yes, I adore all of them.  But I wasn’t exactly invited.”

“You weren’t invited because you were going skiing.  Just like McGee and Delilah weren’t invited because they were going to be with her parents.  Not to mention our NCIS family isn’t big on formal invitations, in case you haven’t noticed,” he teased.

“I know all of that,” she said carefully as she pressed her thumbs along the bottom of his foot.  “I don’t know that I’m ready to share whatever this is, with all our co-workers,” she said as she waved one hand between her and Gibbs.

“Whatever what is?” Gibbs asked, trying to hide a smirk.  He knew full well what she was trying to put into words.

“This, us,” she sighed, dropping her head back and staring at the ceiling.

“Does it have to be something, something….formal, something with a clear cut explanation or definition?” he asked as he pulled his foot down and scooted his chair closer to her.  “Jack, look at me,” he said carefully as he put his hands on her knees.  She reluctantly looked him in the eye as she put her hands over his.  “I’m happy and content with whatever this is.  If it turns out to be just what it is now, great.  If somewhere down the road it’s more, that’s great too.  I think both of us are just so…so, I don’t know, think you can help me out a little, this is so much more your area than mine,” he teased as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

“I think we’re both so used to being alone that the thought of sharing our lives with someone is basically freaking us out a little.  I know that’s not exactly a clinical explanation but it’s all I have right now,” Jack said, sniffling just a little.  “And I know I am more than welcome to just go as a member of the slightly dysfunctional NCIS family, not necessarily as your date.”

Gibbs smiled softly and wiped away the few tears which threatened to fall from her eyes.  “So ya coming or what?” he asked with a goofy grin.

“Yes, I’ll go with you,” Jack sighed as she leaned forward, resting her forehead against his for a few seconds.

“Good.  And if it’ll make you feel better, we can arrive in separate cars and act like we don’t like each other at dinner,” Gibbs snorted.

Jack just rolled her eyes and shook her head as she let out an exasperated sigh.

“Just let Jimmy know I’m coming, please,” she said as she pressed a kiss to his forehead before standing up. 

“I can do that,” Gibbs answered as he got up to find his phone.  He talked to Jimmy while Jack finished cleaning up the kitchen.  After he hung up he grabbed his laptop and set it up at the kitchen table as he was expecting Tony and Tali to Skype him. 

Jack went to the guest room to see if she had anything appropriate to wear to Christmas dinner with her new “family”.   After finding a sweater in her go-bag she pulled it on and went into the bathroom to do something with her hair and put on some makeup. She heard Gibbs talking to Tony and Tali and she went back in the guest room to give him some privacy. 

“I’m done,” Gibbs called down the hall a few minutes later after he realized Jack had been “hiding” in the guest room.

“Sorry, wanted to give you some privacy.  You didn’t need Tony seeing me walking around your house.”

“First of all, wouldn’t have bothered me.  Second of all, you’re crazy if you think I haven’t talked about you to Tony and third of all, he knew you were here,” he admitted.

“How?” Jack asked.  “You told him?”

“No. He didn’t believe I put up the tree, so I had to show him.  He’s rather observant and when I panned over to the tree, he noticed there were two blankets and two pillows on the couch,” Gibbs explained with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Ah, well I would expect him to be observant, since he learned from you,” she teased.

“Exactly.”

“So, what did he say?” Jack asked curiously.

“I believe his exact words were…way to go Boss,” Gibbs grinned as he held his hand out to her.

Jack returned the smile and reached for his hand, letting him pull her into a hug.  He pressed a kiss on the top of her head and held her tight. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this, you should probably shower and get dressed,” Jack whispered as she kissed his cheek.

“Yeah.  Should probably get moving,” he agreed as ran his hands down her arms and squeezed her hands.  “Can you grab Victoria’s gift from the basement?” he called over his shoulder as he headed up the stairs.

“Sure.”

Jack went into the basement with the intention of just grabbing the gift and heading back upstairs.  But she was drawn in by the smell of sawdust, the pictures tacked up haphazardly on the walls, the half finished projects, the assortment of Bourbon.  The entire basement was a testament to and a glimpse into, the life of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  Jack picked up an empty mason jar and poured herself a few fingers worth of Bourbon before wandering around.  She ran her hands over a few projects, took a closer look at some of the photos and eventually pulled a photo album off the shelf and started to flip through it.  She found pictures of his woodworking projects.   Some were just pictures of the finished projects, some were pictures of the projects with their respective recipients.  Although Jack had assumed Gibbs was fairly talented, his skills surpassed anything she’d ever imagined.  The details in his work were extraordinary.  Lost in her thoughts and the photos she didn’t hear Gibbs come back down the stairs.

“Find anything interesting?” he teased from the bottom landing.

His voice startled her and she almost knocked over the mason jar. “Gibbs, I’m sorry,  I shouldn’t have…” she said with a guilty edge to her voice as she closed the album and refused to look at him.

“Jack,” he whispered as he crossed the room.  “Hey, it’s okay.  I don’t care that you’re down here, I don’t care that you’re looking at the album,” he said trying to reassure her.  He reached out to tip her chin up to get her to look him in the eye.  He smiled sadly as he wiped away the tiny tears she was trying desperately to keep from falling.  Despite her weak protests she let him wrap her up in his arms.  He eventually felt her relax in his embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest.

“For what?” he asked as he rubbed her back.

“God, I don’t even know.  For being a blubbering idiot, apparently,” she sniffed as she pulled back a bit, wiping a hand over her face.

“How about we take a deep breath, finish this last bit of Bourbon and pull ourselves together so we can make it to Jimmy’s before the food is gone,” Gibbs suggested.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Jack said with a bit of conviction in her voice.  “Sorry, about that,” she said as she ran her hand over the damp spot her tears had left on his shirt.

“It’s just tears.  I’m sure after playing with Victoria I will be covered in much worse,” Gibbs teased as he cupped her cheek and kissed her softly.  Jack rested her forehead against his for a second.

“Thank you,” she said as she stood up.

“You’re welcome, although I’m not sure what you’re thanking me for,” he teased.

“For being you, for accepting me for who I am, for making me feel safe and for just accepting whatever this is we have going on,” she explained simply.  Hoping simple was the way to go.

“Okay,” Gibbs said with his trademark wink and little dip of his chin.  He grabbed the gift and they headed upstairs.

******

Half an hour later they pulled up to the Palmer house.  Ducky’s car was in the driveway and Nick’s truck was parked out on the street.

“Last chance to arrive separately,” Gibbs teased as he turned off the car and turned to face Jack.

“I would be happy and honored to walk in with you,” Jack said as she reached over to kiss his cheek.

“Good,” he replied with a wink.

They got out of the car, grabbed the gift and the tin of cookies.  Jack gave him a big smile as she reached for his hand, holding it tightly as they headed up the walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't decided if this will just be a stand alone or if I will continue it at some point.
> 
> Either way, thanks for the kudos and comments.


End file.
